


Jealousy made him do it

by thousand_miles



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-14
Updated: 2019-02-14
Packaged: 2019-10-28 10:38:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,237
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17785820
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thousand_miles/pseuds/thousand_miles
Summary: Olivia and her team set a trap to catch their suspect with Olivia as bait. Rather reluctantly Rafael has to watch the footage and in doing so his jealousy gets the best of him.





	Jealousy made him do it

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this for the Valentine’s Day Fic-a-Thon. I chose jealous kiss. This idea popped into my mind and I kinda went with it. I know it might not all be correct regarding the scenario but it was my way of giving Barba the push he needs to finally make a move and kiss Olivia. It turned out differently than I initially thought but I’m kinda happy with it. Enjoy(or at least I hope so).

He shifted on his chair, uncrossed and crossed his legs. He really didn’t want to watch the footage that Olivia was making him watch. It made him uncomfortable and Olivia’s presence didn’t make it any easier. Still he had to because of the case. The reason for his discomfort was Olivia. To catch their suspect she and her team had decided it would be best to set a trap. That in itself wasn’t a bad idea. When he heard that Olivia was going to be the bait because she was the suspect’s type he’d protested heavily against the idea. That had led to a heated discussion in which she’d questioned his trust in her and her capabilities. His protests didn’t have anything to do with him doubting her abilities because there simply was no doubt from his side. He knew she was more than capable of taking care of herself. He trusted her, he didn’t trust their suspect. Their suspect had a thing for beautiful brunettes and he enjoyed torturing them. Without a doubt her beauty would attract the suspect’s attention and he would make sure she would be his. He was afraid her team wouldn’t be in time to rescue her. That the footage of her and the suspect would be the last he’d ever see of her. Not only would he have to deal with her loss, but also with risks not taken. So he’d played the Noah card which yes was a low blow but it felt like it would be his only chance to get her to not be the bait. Besides what he really wanted to say, that he couldn’t loose her because he never wanted to imagine a life without her, seemed to be inappropriate. Bringing up Noah had made her even angrier with him and she’d stormed out of his office not before accusing him once more of not trusting her.  
   
The day after their op he’d been informed it had been a success. He was glad of course. That all changed fifteen minutes ago when she’d quietly walked into his office. The mood between them still tense and she’d greeted him with a short hello. She’d purposely kept a distance between them and it was only when she put the hair that had fallen across her face behind her ear that he noticed it. There were butterfly stitches just above her right eyebrow and the skin around it was slightly blue. She’d gotten hit. He fought his impulse to close the distance between them, trace the injury with his finger and hold her close. Her body language making it clear she didn’t want him near. He wasn’t going to let it slide, but for the moment he decided not to comment.  


Now here he was watching her on the screen. She looked beautiful in the green dress that accentuated her curves. He saw several heads turn in her direction following her till she’d walked past them. He watched her go to the bar and immediately a guy bought her a drink. It wasn’t their suspect and he watched her decline politely. For a while there wasn’t much happening. Olivia sat at the bar, facing the dance floor, sipping her drink. Several men approached her. It didn’t surprise him at all. Though he hadn’t been at the club and hadn’t seen any of the other women there, he knew she was the most beautiful woman there that evening. A conclusion several other men had clearly drawn too. The men, varying in age between he guessed 25 and 45, all tried in vain to get her attention. None of them were worthy of her and if he’d been there he would have told each one of them as much. He didn’t understand why they were watching this footage. The suspect was nowhere to be seen yet and all he was watching was those men trying to pick her up. Was she purposely trying to torture him? He wondered if circumstances had been different one of the men would have caught her interest? Would she have let one of them buy her a drink? Would she have danced with him, would she have let him kiss her, let him touch her body? 

Getting frustrated with the direction of his thoughts and even more so with those men trying to pick her up which made him think that she was even more out of reach then he’d suspected, Rafael stood up and started pacing. He hated how easily those men approached her and probably thought she would be another notch on their bedpost. He hated himself for his lack of courage to do the same, to approach her, to tell her how he felt and tell her he would wait for her. He’d become good at the waiting part, waiting for her to read his mind, waiting for her to share his feelings, waiting for her to give him any clue that if he put his heart on the line, she would not crush it. There were no clues and so he kept his mouth shut and yearned for her from afar. He’d learned to deal with that. The feelings of jealously that bombarded him caught him completely off guard. 

Olivia pressed pause and looked over her shoulder watching Rafael pace. His discomfort radiating off of him. She wondered why. Nothing had really happened yet. He’d been edgy ever since they’d told him about their plan. She didn’t like it at all that he questioned her capabilities. She didn’t understand where this sudden distrust was coming from. It made her want to prove him wrong. And she had, he would see so in a few minutes. The tension between them was something she could do without. She didn’t like it when they were at odds. 

“Sit back down, Barba and watch the footage. Otherwise you’re going to miss it and I really don’t want this to watch this anymore than necessary okay. It was bad enough experiencing it.” She muttered the last bit.

He heard her loud and clear. “Did he hurt you?” He asked, his pacing stopped immediately. 

“It was nothing.” She waved it off.

“What happened?”

“Sit down and watch.” She told him.

“Just press play.” He didn’t feel like sitting down.

He focused back on the screen. For a couple of minutes nothing happened and then their suspect appeared. The man, tall, muscular with blond curly hair and a beard was dressed in black jeans and a shiny blue button up shirt. He immediately started chatting her up. He offered her a drink which Olivia accepted but didn’t drink from. He couldn’t hear their conversation and wondered what the suspect was like. “How was he?” The music in the club was too loud for him to hear the conversation. Their tech guys would be able to fix that problem, but for now he had to do without decent sound. Maybe that was for the best. He doubted he wanted to hear what the man was saying to her.

“Surprisingly charming, eloquent even. He kept the conversation going and steered it subtlety.” 

He noticed the suspect stepping into Olivia’s personal space. He clenched his fists and prepared himself for whatever was next. For a moment the two kept talking. He noticed the suspects wandering hands. He would touch her arm, her thigh or her shoulder. He hated Olivia’s laughter even though he knew it was part of the act. Her fleeting touches disturbed him more than it should. He watched the man grab her hand and pull her onto the dance floor. The next images were ones he wanted to forget as quickly as possible. To watch the man pull her close, drag his hands over her body and practically grinding against her made the anger swell inside of him. He pushed his nails into the skin of the palm of his clenched fists and tried to calm his breathing. He wanted to turn away from the screen. He forced himself to watch. 

Olivia looked over her shoulder at him. She saw the look of disgust on his face and couldn’t help the hurt she felt. Both emotions took her by surprise. Did she disgust him? Was that the reason why he was so reluctant to look at the footage. They had to go through the rest of it and after that she would hurry home an deal with all she was feeling. 

“Why, Olivia?” Rafael whispered more to himself than to her. He saw the suspect grabbing her hand and pulling her into a dark corner away from the dance floor. 

“Just finish watching.”

He crossed his arms in front of him, as if protecting himself for what was next. He saw her getting pushed against the wall, the man’s hands roaming her body. Why was she letting it get so far? Why wasn’t she stopping him? Surely by now the man had implicated himself. A moment later, while the man still crowded her and was grinding his body against her again, Olivia started to struggle a bit. He saw the man whispering something in her ear and grabbing her hips. A few seconds later the suspect had apparently slipped and implicated himself. Olivia took back control, grabbed the man’s wrist, turned his arm behind his back and slammed him against the wall. Something or someone distracted her for a brief moment and it was enough for their suspect to elbow her in her side and throwing his head back against hers. Luckily it was then that Fin and Amanda got there and put the guy in cuffs. 

“Damnit Olivia.” He grumbled. He turned his back to the image on the screen. The image of Olivia hurt, the cut just above her brow bleeding. 

Olivia turned off the screen. She kept seated and waited for him to continue. She could guess what was coming next and she was ready for a fight.

“Why?” He asked, raising his arms in the air. “Why did you have to do that?”

“You know why.” When she didn’t get an affirmative nod or anything else from him she continued. “We couldn’t risk him taking any other victims.” 

“But putting yourself at risk is fine?” 

“I was never at risk.” 

“What?” He exclaimed. He walked up to her, grabbed her hand and pulled her up. “Is this fine?” He pointed at the cut above her brow. “What if Fin and Amanda had gotten there a few seconds later. Would you still have been fine?”

“I can take care of myself.” She said. She pulled her hand back and stepped away from him.

“It sure didn’t look like it.”

There it was again, his total lack of confidence in her. “Where is this lack of trust coming from? What have I done to make you doubt me like this?”

“It’s not that... I trust you. I don’t...” He hesitated. If he was going to go there, then he might not be able to stop himself. 

“Then what is it?” She exclaimed. “You’ve been tense and angry ever since I informed you about what we were going to do. Every chance you get to doubt my abilities you take. If it’s not a lack of trust than what the hell is it?”

“I trust you. I don’t trust them.” He admitted. 

“Who?”

“Them!” He gestured at the screen. “All those men at the club.”

“What about them?” She looked at him. He was agitated, but trying his hardest to hang onto the little thread of control he still had. She didn’t want that. She knew she needed to push to get him to loose control and admit what the real problem was. She knew her calm demeanor would be the right push. 

“What about them? They were all hitting on you. Olivia they were all undressing you with their eyes. They all wanted to conquer you, another notch on their bed posts.” His voice was harsh. “It felt like they all violated you with the way they were leering at you. I hate the way they objectified you.” He ran a hand through his hair. 

There was so much more pain in his voice than she expected. The words in itself didn’t surprise her that much, the emotion behind them did. She tried to catch his eyes, but he refused to look at her. She kept quiet even if she ached to reach out to him. 

“He kept touching you, running his hands over your body. He had no right touching you like that. He violated you. He had no right and all I wanted was...” He stopped. 

“What did you want Rafael?” She asked softly. 

He was so caught up in his thoughts that her question didn’t get through to him. “You were merely an object to him. I was afraid of what he was going to do to you. I saw the images of the other victims and those images changed into you when I saw him grinding against you. I know you can handle yourself. I have complete faith in your capabilities and I trust you. I just don’t ever want to watch men trying to pick you up when..” 

“When what?” She hoped that this time he was listening to her.

He stopped and finally looked at her and contemplated his next move. “I hate those men.” He saw she was about to say something. “Not just because of the disrespectful way they acted. I was jealous because they had the courage that I lack.” 

“You’re one of the most courageous men I know.”

He shook his head. He was far from courageous when it came to her. “I’m a coward.” He admitted. The fact that she hadn’t questioned him about his jealously made him think she’d missed that and that was probably for the best.

“Why were you jealous?”

“Never mind.” He waved it off.

“No, you don’t get to do that. I’ve never seen you get this agitated about a case or footage like that before. What’s so different about this one? Why did this one make you jealous?”

“Because it was you. None of them saw you, the real you that I get to see every day, the person that makes me want to be a better man. You have no idea how beautiful you are Liv, how many heads turn when you walk by.” His voice had turned into a whisper. He’d already said too much. There was no point in holding back anymore. “I want to be the one walking next to you, holding your hand in mine, showing them that I’m the one you chose to be with. I want it to be my hands caressing your body.”

He didn’t quite know what prompted his next move. Maybe it was finally admitting his feelings, finally saying them out loud that gave him the courage. He stepped up to her, cupped her face in his hands and kissed her. There was nothing tentative or gently about his kiss. It was hot, heavy fueled by his jealousy and maybe a hint of desperation to show her what he felt. It was when he sucked on her bottom lip that she reacted. She threw her arms around his neck and kissed him back with the same intensity. Rafael grabbed her hips and guided her back against his desk. It was the need for air that eventually separated them. Shocked by his move, his rather forceful move he quickly stepped back from her. He was no better than those men on the footage, practically forcing himself on her.

“I’m sorry, Olivia.” He immediately apologized. “I shouldn’t have..”

“Be careful how you finish that sentence.” Olivia warned him. She could guess where he was going with this. His heated kiss had taken her completely by surprise. As had his words. She hadn’t known about his feelings for her, nor the debt of his feelings. His words had made her heart flutter and his heated kiss had made it skip a beat. The circumstance of the kiss were not how she’d imagined it, but his kiss was welcome. Her surprise had slowed her reaction and that most likely added to his thinking that his kiss wasn’t wanted. 

Her words stopped him and he looked at her. She was still leaning at his desk. There was no anger in her eyes despite her words of warning. “I forced myself on you.” He waved towards the screen. “I was no better than those men.” This time the disgust he felt wasn’t directed at someone else but at himself. He’d pushed her against the desk, kissed her and when she didn’t kiss him back he hadn’t stepped back. He’d continued. 

“Stop that train of thought.” She pushed herself away from the desk and walked up to him. She put her hand on his chest to stop his pacing. “You are nothing like those men.” She started.

“But I..” He immediately interrupted. He kept his eyes focused on his feet. He couldn’t look at her.

“I kissed you back, didn’t I?”

He thought about that for a moment. She had, she had kissed him back. For the first time since she’d joined him in his office he smiled. “You did.” He finally looked at her again. He reached for her hand and entwined their fingers pulling her a lightly closer. “I’m sorry.” He murmured. 

“For what?” For a moment she wondered if he was sorry for kissing her. “For kissing me?” 

“No.” He quickly said. “I’m sorry for the way it happened. It wasn’t how I imagined it.”

“You’ve imagined kissing me?” She smiled at his admission. 

There was no use in denying it. “I have.” He admitted. “Many times.” Her answering smile made him want to kiss that smile off her face. Well he just wanted to kiss her again. This time the kiss was soft. He brushed his lips against her, once, twice, a third time before pulling back. 

“Mmm..” Olivia hummed keeping her eyes closed for a moment longer. 

Once more he smiled. He kissed her cheek and pulled her in his arms. “I trust you.” He wanted her to know he never doubted her. “I just...” He struggled once more. “The idea of you getting hurt or worse. I know you are more than capable of taking care of yourself. I don’t want you putting yourself at risk like that. I realize I have no say in it, but I can’t help the way I feel. Seeing you on that footage I just wanted to protect you and keep you save. I don’t like seeing you hurt.”

She liked that he wanted to protect her. “I’m not hurt.”

“You are.” He carefully traced the cut above her eyebrow. His other hand covered her waist where she’d taken a hit too. “How much do your ribs hurt?”

“It’s nothing.” She dismissed his concern.

“Olivia.” Was the only thing he said but it was enough to make it clear to her that he wasn’t going to accept that as an answer.

She leaned her forehead against his. “I’m sore and I’m tired. I want to be at home with Noah.” She admitted in a whisper. “Will you take me home and have dinner with us?” 

“I will.” He also whispered. Before stepping away from her to grab his coat and briefcase he kissed her softly.


End file.
